There was a time
I used to look into my father’s eyes.
In a happy home
I was a king, I had a gold throne.
Last night I dreamt of my Grampa. He was young in the dream and so was I. He looked handsome and healthy, dignified yet sparkling with mischief. I don’t remember what he said or what we did in the dream, but when I woke up I cried. The need for his wisdom and calm steady familiarity made me ache with sadness. I wanted to remember his words, to have one last nugget of ‘Grandpa-isms’ to carry me through a life now devoid of his physical presence. But I couldn’t remember.
Those days are gone,
Now the memory’s on the wall.
I hear the songs
From the places where I was born.
So I decided to think back and recall all the things he’d said, things of remarkable influence anyway. There were funny things, profound things, ordinary things. There were things that became family jokes – getting better with each retelling. There were sad things, happy things, irritating things. A lifetime of words to treasure.
But none as powerful as these “Kori, God has big plans for you.”
He said those words so many times they’re tattooed on the invisible skin that makes up my character. He said them and he lived them and he meant them.
He said them to me when I was so small I can barely remember. He said them after the death of my sister when I felt like our family was made of glass. When I wanted to know – why her and not me?. He said them when the first boy I loved made me cry and I asked him how I would know if love was real. He said them when I moved away from home – leaving Canada for England – and I was suddenly afraid I’d made a terrible mistake. He said them to me when I became a mother and gave him his first grandson. He said them when Darren and I left England to move back to Canada. He took me for a drive around Kelowna (where they my grandparents lived and I’d grown up), just the two of us. He drove me to every place of historic importance to our family. We didn’t look at the time, we just drove and drove. I cried and told him how scared I was of all the changes in my future – so he showed me my history. At the end of this perfect drive, we went to the lake. He reminded me of all the times I’d been afraid and all the times God had brought me through.
Upon the hill across the blue lake,
That’s where I had my first heartbreak.
I still remember how it all changed.
My father said…
“Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child.
See heaven’s got a plan for you.
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry now.”
Darren and I lived in Canada for just short of 2 years. We lived close to my grandparents and saw them almost every week. We spent weekends at their house and vise versa. I purposefully soaked up every minute with them – aware that I was so fortunate to have this beautiful adult relationship with the people I loved most. Emlyn was born while we lived in Canada and after Darren and I, Grampa was the first person to hold her in the hospital…she was minutes old. I could see him looking into her tiny face and I knew in his heart he was saying “God has big plans for you!”
There was a time
I met a girl of a different kind.
By the time Emlyn was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome we were living in England again. When I told my grandparents about the diagnosis we cried together over the phone and they prayed for me. They prayed that God would give me strength. They prayed that God would guide me in the best ways to care for Emlyn. They prayed for many many things. Then Grampa said “God has big plans for you both”.
“Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child.
See heaven’s got a plan for you.
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry now.”
Grampa is gone but his legacy endures. His words and his faith, his love and direction. God had BIG plans for him and he more than lived up to them.
See heaven’s got a plan for you
See heaven’s got a plan for you
See heaven’s got a plan for you
“Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child.
See heaven’s got a plan for you.
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry now.”
Love it, love the song
Thanks Dunc
This is so beautiful, I can hear him through your words xxxx
Thanks LauLau xx
Wow Kori, what a beautiful piece of writing and a beautiful song. I don’t normally read blog posts but I saw the picture of your grandfather and little girl and something made me click on it when I was facebook surfing. I am very glad I did because I have been worrying about something today and now the words, ‘don’t you worry, don’t you worry child, heaven’s got a plan for you’ are my new mantra.
It’s a good mantra
thanks for letting me know you read it and got something out of it Lisa x
Oh Kori! Not ashamed to admit that I’m sitting here, 7:00 in the morning, with tears running down my cheeks and a smile on on face! I guess you hit me right in my heart this morning! And yes, indeed, God had BIG plans – BIG BIG plans for you!
Love you Maurina xxx
Beautifully written Kori, even if you made me cry again!
Thank you, and sorry to make you cry – hope they were good tears? x
Family love like that is a really powerful thing , it sounds like his grand daughter made him very happy and very proud , a really moving and inspirational piece of writing , your family will keep you strong , best wishes and keep writing !
Thank you
I’m really pleased to be able to say “I know I made him proud” because he was so quick to say so. He told me, with and without words that I was loved, respected and cherished. That’s of immeasurable value x
Very nice statement to / about your grandfather.
I now wish I had been closer to all four grandparents. They were around a long time. I have memories, but could have used more.
Scott
hugs Scott
x
Wow Kori, your words are beautiful & you made me cry too, love you lots xxx
Thanks
I would say ‘love you too’ but the comment is anonymous so I have no idea who I’d be saying that to 
Whoever and wherever you are thank you so much for reading and commenting! I LOVE commenters 
x
After talking with you this morning I wanted to read your blog. What a beautiful tribute to your Grandfather. Would you mind if I took it into work?
Cherie
Thank you Cherie, I wouldn’t mind a bit
So beautiful, Kori. Your way with words. I loved the “…family was made of glass” line. So expressive.
Soooo beautiful, sobbing…so amazing…thank you so much for sharing…XO.
Soooo beautiful…sobbing….thank you for sharing….XO